Log in

i just think we can do better than this [entries|friends|calendar]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Come to me, all who are weary. [04 Apr 2006|09:53pm]
[ mood | content ]

There's rest for your soul...

Come to me

All who are weary

And I will give you rest

Content... happy. :-)

be still and know

I want more of You, and less of me. [09 Feb 2004|08:43pm]
[ mood | calm ]

School was just school today - nothing too much. The people in my Geometry class are so mean and pathetic. They keep saying stuff that makes me cringe. It's not just me they make fun of. But it's stupid - it's like they're allowed to be mean. If you say something in return, it's a huge deal. I hate that class more and more each day.

I'm totally blank... I don't know what to write about anymore. Eh.

6 thoughts| be still and know

I will trust in You. [08 Feb 2004|10:13am]
[ mood | calm ]

I can't wait until Tuesday - Jeremy Camp's new CD comes out. I still have a $25 Best Buy gift card to use. I've listened to some clips of it online. It sounds amazing. He's a great song writer. Rebecca St. James has a new CD coming out February 24th. I have to get that too.

I'm getting more and more excited for summer camp. My camp's website was redone, and it looks so cool. Only a few more months.

So I finally got a new cell phone. We went to Verizon last night. My mom was kind of pissed off. We went over to our next door neighbor's house for their 1 year old daughter's birthday party. We didn't get back until 6:30, and she wanted to do it today. But I said no, and that she always keeps pushing things back. I feel bad... I don't like making my parents mad. We went anyway. It wasn't too busy there, and then some more people started coming in.

We got there before these two women, and the Verizon worker guy helped them before they helped us. It was so stupid. Getting my new cell phone took like 5 minutes. The other people took about 25 minutes because they were buying a new plan, phone, etc. Grrr. Oh well. I got a new phone... it was free, but we had to sign for a 2 year "customer agreement."

Not going to church today, but I have to help out with something after church is over. Oh so excited - kind of.

be still and know

I deserve nothing more than I get. [06 Feb 2004|09:01pm]
[ mood | bored ]

School was somewhat better today, I suppose. I had a math test - I probably failed that. I freak out when I have tests. My mind just goes blank. Gym sucked, too. I hate the two girls who are in my class. They are so immature. They always talk crap about me to each other and other people. It makes me mad. I mean, what am I suppose to do? It's like middle school. GROW UP!

We chose our schedules/classes for next year. I selected these classes:

English 5,6 HONORS
Spanish 3,4
Human Anatomy/Physiology 1,2 HONORS
Algebra 3,4
U.S. Government
American Law & Order
Physical Education
Creative Cookery
Yearbook 3,4

I don't know about the Human Anatomy honors class. I might change it. I need one more gym credit... I have to take swim still. But I'm almost done with the required classes. I really like my counselor. He is really into college stuff, so that should be nice.

I have to work tomorrow. Then hopefully I'm going to get a new cell phone. I want a Nokia 3589i. Verizon has this deal where you can get a free phone. I asked for a new one for my birthday. I've been bugging my mom about it... and I kind of feel bad about it. I don't mean to. My birthday is a month and a half away. But this free deal lasts only until the 15th.

I got my haircut yesterday, also. A couple inches. It's just a little past my shoulders. I'm happy with it. Anyway, good night.

2 thoughts| be still and know

Though I am wounded and unworthy... [05 Feb 2004|05:45pm]
[ mood | shocked ]

School was so awkward today.

In first period, we were told that a junior had committed suicide yesterday. That basically set the mood for the whole day. It totally breaks my heart to hear stuff like that. Though I don't know him personally, I still walk the same hallways that he did. It affects the whole school. I just wish that people didn't have to resort to suicide. It's a dead end road. What's left after suicide? Nothing. I wish he could have talked to someone about his problems. There is a way out.

Always tell the people you care about that you love them. High school is somewhat rough. People are still immature, and they don't think about what they say. Words affect people in different ways - some people can handle it, others can't. It depends on the person. But still... what you say to someone and how you treat them can do a lot.

I pray that some light can come out of this. It's so sad to hear things like that.

1 thought| be still and know

Things I ask myself. [04 Feb 2004|08:38pm]
[ mood | confused ]

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Romans 12:2

I feel like I keep falling into "the pattern of this world." I wish life could be so much easier. I wish people would stop thinking about themselves. It makes me so mad. I always give too much, and get little back. No matter how nice I am, it doesn't do anything. Nobody seems to care anymore. I guess it's all about the stupid drama. I'm about to give up.

What is wrong with me? Is it all my fault?

2 thoughts| be still and know

I'm getting into you, because you got to me. [02 Feb 2004|07:14pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

No school today, which was nice. But I don't want to go back tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to seeing all the stupid dumbasses that reign my school.

Anyway, today wasn't too bad. I did a two hour MasterDrive lesson. I drove in residental areas. It was pretty fun. I still need to work on how to use the steering wheel. They taught us hand-to-hand feed and the "hand lock." You're supposed to use the hand-to-hand feed for nearly everything. The "hand lock" is for emergency type stuff, which I used a few times when I wasn't suppose to. It's kind of confusing.

But I actually got to drive on some main streets today. It was kind of freaky. I mean, I've been on those roads my whole life, and I got to drive on them today. Exciting.

be still and know

What's wrong with the world? [01 Feb 2004|07:19am]
[ mood | gloomy ]

I've been thinking too much lately. Especially over what has happened at school, and WHY ME? Where did I mess up? As far as I know, I never did anything to the people who have been giving me problems. It irritates me so much. I hate how I have to live up to certain people's expectations. They act like I'm not human. It's not fair. Why does God let this happen to his people? Why can't it just be easy? I'm tired of working hard to make everybody happy. I have to watch what I say. Yet they can say anything they want to me. It doesn't matter. I'm just a stupid toy they can kick around and play with.

I give up.

2 thoughts| be still and know

Can you hear me scream? [30 Jan 2004|07:25pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

School was stupid today. I can't believe some people. I don't want to type it because it will take too long, and I shouldn't dwell on it.

But seriously... why do people have problems with me? Why do I LET people have problems with me? I try to be on good terms with everybody. I try not to hold grudges. Then people find something to give me crap about. I hate high school. Somedays, it's like nothing has changed since middle school. Same old immature stuff.

But I'll just say that shopping and eating at Yakitori made me feel better.

1 thought| be still and know

I want to soak up every single second. [28 Jan 2004|05:42pm]
[ mood | excited ]

I've been pretty busy lately. It feels like it. It's just one thing after another. But it's so nice to get it all done.

I'm so happy: I got tickets to the Jeremy Camp, Rebecca St. James, and Newsboys concert (Adoration Tour)! I can't wait. I know it's going to be an amazing concert. And they're all there at one time. The concert is February 22nd. So it's a little under a month away.

School is just school. It's been okay. I feel like I'm not a good friend sometimes. Or that I bother people. I don't know. It probably shouldn't matter that much to me, but it does.

be still and know

I don't know what I'd do without you... [26 Jan 2004|07:06pm]
[ mood | mellow ]

I am going through a MasterDrive skills course withdrawal. I actually had fun. I miss my instructors - I swear, I get attached to people so easily. I only got to be with them for two days. I wish the skills course could be longer. It was a good experience. Sigh...

School was okay today. I think I failed my Geometry test on trigonometry. I didn't get to study the notes we took on it because my teacher was grading them. So that was bad. My mind went blank. I wanted to cry. When I get stressed, my first reaction is to start crying. I don't actually cry in most cases, especially in school.

Then I worked today. It wasn't too bad, except that I worked with a guy who was pretty new. That made it difficult to do somethings. Some people are so rude. I can only do so much at one time. I got frustrated.

I am in love with a new Christian artist named Matthew West. I just got his CD "Happy" and I can't stop listening to it.

2 thoughts| be still and know

I should be happy. [25 Jan 2004|05:32pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

I'm sad that the MasterDrive skills course is over now. But I feel so much more confident in my driving now. I think I could handle a public road now. I learned so many cool techniques.

I also really liked my coaches. I get so attached to people... I wish I could see them all again. I can't wait till I get to do the on-street driving lessons.

Anyway, I'm going to eat dinner soon and then do some homework. I'm not going to youth group tonight - I have too much to do. I haven't really been home all weekend.

be still and know

I will be waiting where I've always been. [24 Jan 2004|07:37pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

I didn't know that driving all day could really be tiring. I'm about ready to go to bed soon. I just did MasterDrive all day. I think I learned a lot. It was kind of intimidating, but everybody is there to learn how to drive.

And I suck at listening to directions. They just fly right past me. I can't absorb so much information at once. My brain just doesn't work that way. I retain more information over time. Not all at once. But I'm working on it.

I'm almost scared to drive. There is so much to know how to do. I can't even imagine going on a public road yet. I've barely gone above 25 mph.

1 thought| be still and know

Broken. [23 Jan 2004|04:13pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

I feel so unhappy.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I just haven't been in a good mood lately. Some of the people in my Yearbook class bother me. We've been talking about getting shirts, and most of the people in there want black shirts. So today we were talking about it and I said, "I don't want black, it's a gothic color." And then some girl was like, "Black is not a gothic color!" She got all mad at me. Oh, so I guess my opinion means nothing? I don't want the color black. This boy who barely comes to class decided on that color. People are so STUPID!

Besides that, I'm in a crappy mood. Ugh.

be still and know

I hate math. [21 Jan 2004|06:46pm]
[ mood | angry ]

Trigonometry will be the end of me.

That is all.

Edit: I figured how to do the problems. Took me like an hour and a half to finish it all.

be still and know

Madness is what you demonstrate. [20 Jan 2004|06:14pm]
[ mood | determined ]

Thanks for all the comments about driving... I really appreciate it. :-)

My mom took me out for a half hour today at an even bigger parking lot. It was much better. It makes more sense that you only use your right foot for everything. I still need to work on my hand/eye coordination. My mom said I can start driving in our neighborhood soon. I want to see what it is like around other cars.

School was fine today. I hate Geometry. I love my Badminton partner. When he got our rackets, I asked "Are we still partners?" And he was like, "Yeah, and we will be for a long time. Know what I mean?" I can't get enough of him.

I'm going to work on some homework... not fun.

P.S. My birthday is exactly 2 months away. I can't wait.

be still and know

Driving. [19 Jan 2004|08:35pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

Okay. Now I'm worried about driving.

So my dad took me out to a huge parking lot yesterday, just to get a feel for my mom's car. I'm doing the MasterDrive Skills course on the 24th and 25th. I practiced parking the car, making u-turns, using the indicators, and other things. I freaked out a couple times with the brakes and the gas pedal. I don't exactly feel comfortable just using one foot to do both. I guess you're only supposed to use your right foot for everything. I haven't driven above 20 mph yet. Gosh, I can't even imagine driving on the highway where it's 75 mph.

I really want to drive, and I want to do it right. And I wish I had a smaller car to practice in. My dad has a freaking huge 2003 Ford 550. My mom drives a 2003 Acura MDX. It's new and she's worried about me scraping it or something. It's just a normal sized SUV, but it's big.

At this rate, it's probably going to take even longer to get my license. I need so much practice.

2 thoughts| be still and know

How lovely you are. [18 Jan 2004|09:11pm]
[ mood | content ]

Nobody said it was easy...
No one ever said it would be this hard

I love Coldplay. Their music is so relaxing and nice.

Just got done with youth group. They all came over to my house. We had some snacks, did some Bible study stuff, and talked. I liked it. Except, I wish the group could have been somewhat bigger. But all in all, I like the size of our usual group. It's not too big, and not too small. With the size we have, everybody knows each other's names and stuff.

I think my church is a step closer to get a youth director/pastor. I've wanted one for a long time. We had one, but she resigned in August. I liked our previous youth director... I just wished she could have been more excited about her job. Other churches have really great youth directors. Especially Paige's church.

So anyway, for Sunday school, I went to the adult forum class. They talked about this year's budget, and then got into a big discussion over the youth. I'm the youth representative on the church coucil. So the president of the council, Jeffrey, pretty much put me on the spot. I told them it would be nice to have a youth director.

Oh my gosh, my face got SO hot and red. It happens all the time when I get nervous. But when I stood up, Jeffrey was like, "Courtney has volunteered to sit in through all of our council meetings..." and everybody started applausing. It was kind of weird/cool. Jeffrey is such a great person... I think he'll be good for our church.

One other note: I haven't seen Alex in a few months. I hope he's okay. He probably just goes to the earlier church service. But I miss him! I want to see him again.

I think that's all for now. I'm going to go watch Sex and the City later, and then go to bed. No school tomorrow, but I have to work. I always work Mondays. Blah.

1 thought| be still and know

I guess I let myself believe. [17 Jan 2004|08:36pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Today wasn't too bad.

I went shopping and got some more clothes. At Aeropostale, I got 50% off $39.50 jeans, which were really supposed to be 40% off. The jeans ended up being about $12. The cashier was like "My bad." Oh well. At the store, I saw my ex-best friend from middle school with her mom. She is the weirdest and meanest person I know. I'm so glad I chose to go to the high school I did.

If I went to the other school that I could have gone to, I know I would be miserable. I really needed to surround myself with new people and new opportunities. Even though there have been some kinks in my plan, it's still better.

Then I got two shirts from American Eagle with a $10 off card I had from Christmas. I also went to Victoria's Secret and got some body spray. They had good sales, so I got "Love Spell" and "Sweet Temptation." It smells so good. I love shopping. It releases stress. Or maybe it's because I like spending money. It always "burns a hole" in my pocket.

But on the other hand, I always feel bad/guilty when I get money. I feel like I don't deserve it. I know I shouldn't feel like that. Money is definitely the root of all evil.

I'm totally just rambling on. There is nothing to do. I'm so bored. I want some new CDs to listen to. Nothing good is out right now. Okay... I'm done now.

be still and know

Rest awhile. [15 Jan 2004|08:47pm]
[ mood | content ]

I love playing Badminton in gym. It's like tennis. I suck at serving the birdie though. I need to get better. My assigned partner is hot, though. That's a plus. He's also funny. He's been trying to teach me how to serve better. Someday I will do well.

This week has been going on forever. I'm so happy that tomorrow is Friday, and that it is a three day weekend. Anyway, time for bed. I'll write more when I get a chance. Good night.

be still and know

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]